I'm going to do something very British here, and talk about the weather. But the reason I'm doing so is because of the very un-British weather we've been having today--with me so far?

The weather in Britain is generally defined by its moderation. It doesn't get very hot, it doesn't get very cold, and it often drizzles half-heartedly for days on end rather than having a jolly good downpour and getting it all over with. I don't know what has been going on for the past two days, but it seems as if the British weather has been trying on some tropical weather systems for size, just for kicks. I was off-sick today, and feeling very wan after only two hours of sleep last night (I'll spare you the details), so I watched the sudden changes in the weather with the words what the hell is going on forming on my lips.

First, it was very bright and sunny, with barely a breath of wind. Then--without so much as a by-your-leave--a huge wind blew up, a ground-shaking clap of thunder made me jump out of my chair, and hailstones the size of beans pummelled the earth for few minutes. Then everything abruptly stopped, the sun came out, and the wind completely stopped. This pattern cycled two or three times during the day. It's just not on.