· mumblings ·

I seem to have developed a twitch around my eyes. At first, it was just a small twitch of the muscle at the outside of my left eye — annoying but intermittent. Then it got more frequent, and my right eye occasionally joined in. Last night I was looking in the mirror and realised that the muscle underneath my left eye is continually fluttering. I didn’t know because I can’t feel it, but it’s pretty obvious when you see it.

As I looked in the mirror, I thought that my twitching reflection reminded me of someone, and then it hit me: I look like Herbert Lom as Chief Inspector Dreyfus in the Pink Panther films, when Clouseau’s incompetence starts to get the better of him. It’s not a great look to be honest. Next thing you know I’ll be accidentally amputating my thumb with a cigar cutter. Perhaps it’s just as well that I don’t own a cigar cutter.

This whole twitching thing is starting to get really irritating. It’s almost certainly just tiredness and stress, but it is proving remarkably stubborn, and seems to be resistant to the calming effect of listening to Louis Armstrong and Duke Ellington while sipping a gin and tonic. If anyone has any suggestions for how to still my misbehaving facial muscles, I would be very grateful for them.