The wildlife is revolting

topicality

Wildlife seems to be fighting back: after the lives blighted by otters allegations, comes the 'family besieged by swans' shocker. This story was on page 1 of our local paper, the Oxford Times:

Residents of a canal-side community say they are being kept under virtual siege by a family of swans. A pair of swans, followed by their six cygnets, have been pecking at cars and front doors, intimidating residents, terrifying children and leaving a mess in gardens in Lane Close, Kidlington. One couple visiting their daughter in the street said they were trapped in their car while the swans circled the vehicle and pecked on the door. Another resident keeps her front door locked because they try to pull the door handle down with their beaks and push their way inside.

I shouldn't make fun of people's fears (I once got mugged by a duck), but I'm afraid that I laughed like a mad woman. I have this great image of a film trailer. That gravelly-voiced man who does all the action and horror film trailers starts to speak. "It started with an innocent trip to the park, but now innocence has turned to terror. [Cut to image of a glass front door, with a silhouette of a swan on the other side]. Now, they're coming to you — and this time, they want the whole loaf. [Handle on door is rattled menacingly, cue 'Psycho'-like strings]."

comments powered by Disqus