For months now, we've had raiding parties of tiny ants swarming around our flat. We find the odd ant in the bread bin, in the bathroom basin or crawling over the carpet, and since I'm generally tolerant towards wildlife in the house, I haven't really done much about it. But now they've pushed me too far. The espresso machine was spluttering this morning as if it was empty of water, so I removed the reservoir to refill it. To my horror, hundreds of kamikaze ants were clogging up the exit valve.

That does it — I don't mind the odd ant in my sandwich (I think of it as free protein), but no-one messes with my coffee supply.