[Thursday 20th March]

This is my third trip to the States, and every time I come it reinforces the impression that 'The Simpsons' is a documentary rather than a comedy. To be fair, this is an impression mainly garnered from infomercials. I have to say that I'm fascinated by them.

"Do you want to be able to upgrade the software used by your brain?" Yes, Pam -- tell me more immediately about how I can speed-read up to 2,000 words per minute! "So, Chef Tony -- how sharp are these knives?". "Well, I'm glad you asked me that Tom!"

Why do infomercials selling knives always show them cutting up shoes? I don't know about you, but I've never thought, "Man, I really wish I had a knife to cut this pair of shoes up." How do people end up doing infomercials anyway? My guess is that they are washed-up actors who have either had their day, or never really made it in the first place. It's pretty tragic really, but infomercials are the most entertaining bit of US TV.