Just when I thought that nothing exciting ever happens in our neighbourhood, I saw an interesting sign outside our local community centre: "British Association of Tortoise Keepers Open Day". Woo-hoo! Pretty soon, hordes of happy tortoise owners were turning up with cardboard boxes — with holes cut in them, of course — containing their treasured pets. One particularly large tortoise was given a run around on the playing field, which it evidently found utterly thrilling. Some people might consider tortoises rather unexciting pets, but I think that they are fantastically mellow little creatures. Don't even think about keeping one unless you know what you're doing though: they take quite a bit of skill to look after properly, and — if you do keep it properly — will probably live longer than you will.