Dear Brain

· mumblings ·

Dear Subconscious Brain,

You and I both know that we spend far too much time reading and answering email. So why, pray, have you started making me read and answer imaginary email in my dreams? What really gets my goat is that you make these emails so plausible, so that even when I have woken from the dream, I can’t help fretting about them.

The other night you concocted an email from an imaginary student, sent to someone higher up than me, and complaining that I hadn’t dealt with some situation to their satisfaction. In this dream, the response to the student had been sent BCC1 to me from this person for my information. I was outraged about the injustice of this complaint, and even when I woke up, I kept catching myself stewing over this entirely fictional situation.

In conclusion, Brain, kindly get stuffed.

Your pal and fleshy container,


  1. Yes, you even do the email headers in these dreams — I have to salute your diabolical eye for detail, Brain. ↩︎