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01 Jun 2004
When I was in New Caledonia, one of the most common sounds was the chorus of mothers yelling at the departing backs of their children running off to play, "Mets tes claquettes!"1. I became rather fond of it. But yesterday I wished that I hadn't put mes claquettes on.
I cycle in to work, and so wear my stiff-soled cycle shoes. As I don't want to lug a change of footwear in to work every day, I keep an old pair of trainers and a pair of flip-flops2 in the office. I had to go out at lunchtime in search of a wireless mouse, and decided to walk rather than cycle as the weather was so nice. Unfortunately, all the shops I tried didn't have the model I wanted, so I was faced with a long walk to the out-of-town branch of PCWorld. At this point, that under-investigated but important region of the brain responsible for stupid decisions assured the region that deals with common sense that it would be easier to just carry on walking than to go back, change footwear and fetch my bike.
Flip-flops are not designed for four mile walks, particularly when you have winter-softened feet. By the time I got back (with the mouse, I'm sure you'll be glad to hear), I had huge pillowy blisters on the balls of my feet, and couldn't walk without wincing.
Ne mettez pas vos claquettes quand vous devez marcher une longue distance3. From now on, that will be my motto.
1 "Put your flip-flops on!" It's a little-known fact (until it happens to you, and becomes painfully etched on your memory) that coral is a) very sharp and b) coral cuts almost always become infected.
2 In fact, the very same pair I bought in New Caledonia. In 2000. I am so cheap.
3 I apologise to any native French speakers for mangling your language.
2
Whilst I sympathise with the blister agony, it still eludes me why people choose to wear flip-flops at all. I had at one point placed their inventor (whoever that might have been) at the top of my proverbial hit-list, purely for being the creator by default of what is the most annoying sound in the world (someone walking in flip-flops). I have calmed somewhat over the years but god help anyone walking around me in them when I’m having a bad day :o)----- Just read the link on coral cuts, and felt my toes curl. The bit on removing the pus laden crust was particularly wince inducing.
by Keith @ 01/06/2004 6:06 pm • Permalink •
3
I could have done with out the Coral Cuts link. Eek. Brought back memories. I still have a scar on my foot.
4
ran93r: Really? I find the sound quite soothing. And no-one can creep up on you when they are wearing flip-flops. Good job we don't share an office 
Keith, Nathan and Laika: I know. But you can't say I didn't warn you with the title attribute of the link :-D I'm afraid that I did witness this procedure, performed on one of the sons of the Kanak couple I stayed with (he didn't heed the whole "Mets tes claquettes" thing, which just goes to show that you should always listen to your mother). If you think it sounds bad written down, you should have been there. I think he started putting his flip-flops on after that. It's a good thing for me that my Mum was a nurse—I've grown up with detailed descriptions of really gross things, and developed some level of immunity from complete revulsion.
5
Both my wife and I are fans of shows such as "The Operation", and have been known to watch these shows whenever they're on. For some reason, they're often on during dinnertime. Doesn't bother us, really. It's not gross or disgusting. We both find it interesting.
As for "always listen to your mother", well, we have a slightly different saying at our house. My wife does a very good job at cautioning me against doing some things that, well, are really stupid things to do. When something goes wrong, the first thing she says is: "And what did you learn from this? Always listen to your wife, that's what."
6
I enjoyed these last two posts of yours. How nice to know that even a top Oxbridge academic who could probably accommodate my brain several times over in her ample cranium is prone to the same kind of idiotic behaviour that afflicts me!
by ThoughtBadger @ 02/06/2004 3:07 pm • Permalink •
7
Must admit I'm in full agreement with ran93r - the whole shlup-shlup sound of any kind of flip-flop footwear, especially on carpet, has driven me crazy for years! By the way, I know someone who claims to have once climbed Mt Etna wearing flip-flops, but I never got the chance to find out the whole story. I'm imagining her feet can't have liked it.
Thanks for the coral cut link warning, by the way - due to that, and the comments about that, I've decided that my stomach is probably too weak, and I won't be clicking the link! So your warning came in handy, after all!
by David (TEFL Smiler) @ 03/06/2004 8:06 am • Permalink •
8
Nathan: Squeamishness is a funny thing. I also enjoy medical dramas and documentaries, and have no problem watching someone's chest cavity being opened up. However, if I saw the same thing in a horror film, I would feel really sick. I think it's something to do with the perception of how the victim feels. OK, so I know that neither is real, but I still feel better when someone is being operated on while unconscious—I don't like any representation of people (or animals) suffering.
ThoughtBadger: I would question the use of the word 'top', and you've probably got a slightly larger brain than me, being male (though size isn't everything!). But yes, I do idiotic things, just like everyone else
1
What fascinated me was the use of the word "brutally".
And yes, that was very cringe-inducing indeed.
by Nathan @ 01/06/2004 6:06 pm • Permalink •