Improbable Situations Discs
Encouraged by the new DRM-free iTunes Plus tracks, and in a fit of mild nostalgia, I bought a few tracks off albums that I only have on vinyl or (long defunct) cassette tapes. Among them were a selection of my favourite tracks from three of Kate Bush’s early albums: ‘Lionheart’, ‘Never For Ever’ and ‘The Kick Inside’. Listening to ‘Oh England My Lionheart’ for the first time in ages reminded me that it is one of my Improbable Situations Discs. This is a similar idea to Desert Island Discs, but covers a range of very specific and highly unlikely situations I might find myself in, and in which would — in my opinion — require a suitable soundtrack.
Quite why these particular bizarre situations have popped into my mind at various points I don’t know, but I’m confident that I’ve chosen the right music to accompany them. There’s nothing like being prepared… The links to the songs take you to the song on the iTunes Store (where available), in case you’d like to check them out.
- Seeing the Earth from Space: obviously, this calls for Hello Earth by Kate Bush. I might also feel the need to blot the Earth from sight “with just one hand/held up high”. However, I would need to be careful about listening to this in a space suit: if the sight of the Earth from space wasn’t enough to make my cry, listening to ‘Hello Earth’ while doing so definitely would, and I wouldn’t want a blurry view.
- Having to escape from a burning building (or some other situation against impossible odds), possibly rescuing someone else in the process: Troy by Sinead O’Connor. I’ve always felt that listening to (or more likely thinking about) this song when in a situation requiring enormous fortitude would give me the strength to carry on. I suppose I’m trying to avoid being in a kind of Touching the Void situation with nothing but ‘Brown Girl in the Ring’ by Boney M playing in my head.
- Being the last human left alive: ‘Walk This World’ by Chris Wood. If you know the song, you can probably guess why I chose it. It has a certain kind of grim but resolute hopefulness about it which might cheer me in an odd way.
- Sinking into an aimless, numb rut: Time by Pink Floyd. Absolutely right to acknowledge the feeling but shock me out of it.
- Being permanently exiled from Britain: Oh England My Lionheart by Kate Bush. By all rights, this should be a terrible song (some may argue that it is, but I won’t be swayed from my opinion). It references just about every ‘Ye Olde England’ cliché going — Shakespeare, the Thames, Wassailing, apple orchards, shepherds, Spitfires and so on — and as if that wasn’t bad enough, features the harpsichord. It ought to sound either hopelessly twee or like an advert for the National Front or the BNP. I don’t have a patriotic bone in my body, so I ought to loathe it. And yet, somehow, it’s really moving. It makes me feel homesick while I’m still in England. Perhaps it’s because it’s about a kind of fictional, idealised England we create together. Or perhaps it’s because of lines like:
Our thumping hearts hold the ravens in
And keep the Tower from tumbling
So those are my Improbable Situations Discs. Does anyone else have a similar list, or is it just me?
1
Well, for your list, how about:
Seeing the Earth from space: Mother Earth, by Memphis Slim.
Burning building scenario: has to be He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother, by The Hollies.
Being the last human alive: Bring My Family Back, by Faithless.
Sinking into a rut: The Ballad Of Lucy Jordan as sung by Marianne Faithfull.
Exile from Britain: Lucy, by The Divine Comedy, (it's the Wordsworth poem "I Travelled Among Unknown Men", set to music)
(As an aside, major server slowness right now, 11pm BST Wednesday)
by Michael Houghton @ 06/06/2007 10:07 pm • Permalink •
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I've often thought it would be cool if there was a device that would play incidental music to match your current situation.
Spooky, tension-building music when walking home alone on a dark night.
Something suitably fast paced when running to catch the train.
Etc.
by Martin Polley @ 07/06/2007 5:28 am • Permalink •
3
My random, pre-coffee musings....
Earth from Space- Porcelain, by Moby (no idea why)
Burning building- F*** you and your cat, by Goldfinger
Last human- The End, by The Doors
In a rut- Turned Up, Clocked on, Laid off, by Half Man Half Biscuit
Exile (speaking from personal experience)- Letter from America, The Proclaimers; Flower of Scotland, by 67000 Scots at Murrayfield; Ancient Places by The Levellers; or the Theme to Test Match Special
Other situations; Standing on a glacier- Human Behaviour, Björk City Break- Glory Box, Portishead I.
by Ian @ 08/06/2007 7:33 am • Permalink •
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In the unlikely event of my ever getting drunk: “Comfortably Numb” by Pink Floyd.
In the even more unlikely event of my being seduced by a 25 year old blonde: “In Dreams” by the immortal Roy Orbison.
If ever I were able to play the guitar: Rodrigo’s “Concierto de Aranjuez” as played by Julian Bream.
When I eventually learn to tap dance: “After Midnight” by God (Eric Clapton, in case you think I’ve come over all religious) - You may ask, with Bsag’s permission of course,
When I buy my Ferrari: “Now I’ve got a witness (Like Uncle Phil and Uncle Gene) by the Rolling Stones.
If I ever regain my singing voice: Hoagy Carmichael’s “Stardust” as sung by the one and only Nat King Cole - a voice like honey poured on chocolate.
When I go: “Zadok the Priest” It’ll give me another 30 monumental bars before the final curtain closes.
Oh - and a last glass of 1990 Margaux - like a cloud condensing on your tongue……...
by Jonathan Briggs @ 09/06/2007 12:55 pm • Permalink •
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Michael Houghton: Some excellent choices there. 'He Ain't Heavy...' is a bit literal for my tastes, but the others are great. I hadn't heard the Memphis Slim track before, but that's great. Your mention of 'Lucy' reminded me of (I think) a Jah Wobble track that mixed dub reggae, Vaughan Williams' Lark Ascending and William Blake in a brilliant collage that would also be great as an Exile from Britain track. Must dig that out...
Martin Polley: Heh, I seem to have a soundtrack running in my head anyway!
Ian: Great! Are you Scottish by any chance?
That Bjork track is fantastic, perfect choice.
Jonathan Briggs: Ooo, nice choices. Zadok the Priest is brilliant (and practical under the circumstances!) It's a wonderful piece of music, but only interesting for about the first half. Which is fine, because you won't be worrying about the last half
This is fun! We should make a mix CD of these.
by bsag @ 09/06/2007 2:55 pm • Permalink •
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If ever I were able to play the guitar: Rodrigo’s “Concierto de Aranjuez” as played by Julian Bream.
by portishead @ 18/06/2008 2:12 pm • Permalink •
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