Dignity
Last Tuesday morning, I was waiting in a wheelchair for a scan. I’d had a lot of pain in the night, and had been given a strong painkiller, so I felt fogged and dizzy, and worried about what the scan was going to show. I’d been admitted to hospital at the last minute, so I wasn’t really fully prepared and had to borrow one of those awful, open-backed hospital gowns, and had no slippers or bathrobe. In a very unusual lapse of consideration, the porter had brought me down to the radiology waiting room as I was, and had parked me by the reception desk, where I sat trying to pull the skimpy gown over my knees and hide the catheter bag behind my calves. I felt like a battered and unloved Ford Fiesta waiting on a garage forecourt for a service.
I started to feel rather sorry for myself.
Suddenly, a late middle-aged nurse came over to me, carrying a blanket. She didn’t actually work in that section but she said she’d passed the door and seen me sitting there looking uncomfortable and had fetched a blanket for me to put over my knees. She tutted disapprovingly about the fact that I’d been sent down like this and no-one had thought about my dignity. As she left, she put a hand on my shoulder and smiled, saying “Is that better?”. I cry rarely (except during sad films, when I blub like a baby), but when I do, I’m often set off by someone being nice to me rather than treating me badly. Tears welled up, but I was determined not to cry in a waiting room.
What touched me so much was that her attitude reminded me of my Mum’s approach to nursing. Mum has always maintained that while it’s obviously important to be able to do the technical stuff like putting in drips, taking blood and so on, the most important thing to remember is that patients are human beings, and they are at their most frightened, embarrassed and vulnerable while they are in your care. Putting someone’s mind at rest, distracting them from their problems or making sure that they are allowed to hang on to their dignity can be the most important thing you can do for them.
1
Lordy, just reading that story about you waiting in the hospital and the nurse being nice to you made me all teary-eyed, so I'm not surprised that you felt like crying as well.
I -so- agree about the importance of remembering that patients in hospitals are human beings at their most vulnerable.
by Debbie Ridpath Ohi @ 18/10/2006 5:11 pm • Permalink •
2
My own experience of hospitals has been pretty limited, but I think it's wonderful that our underpaid and under-appreciated nursing staff are able to go out of their way to help.
I haven't got that much patience!
I hope you're recovering from your illness.
by Andy Cunningham @ 18/10/2006 6:11 pm • Permalink •
3
"For most young UK trained nurses, it is just a job and patients are a neccssary evil."
I really hope you can back up that slur with cold hard facts.
by Michael Houghton @ 18/10/2006 8:11 pm • Permalink •
4
Nurses used to learn on the wards from day one; they now spend three years in college learning the paper stuff and no people skills - I get this from my wife and my Mother in Law, who were both nurses. For most young UK trained nurses, it is just a job and patients are a neccssary evil. Empty a bed pan, you must be joking, that's a menials job....
When my wife was nursing, she and her colleagues were responsible for the cleanliness of the wards, they washed and polished the floors, cleaned the beds, sterilised the equipment, emptied the bedpans etc., as well as looking after the patients.
by Jonathan Briggs @ 18/10/2006 8:11 pm • Permalink •
5
Well Michael, I have to speak up for Jonathan here. There are good and bad hospitals and departments, and in those that have been neglected the most, often geriatric wards and mental hospitals, the standard of care can be just abysmal. In 2003 the last 6 weeks of my father-in-law's life were made a living hell by his treatment in the two main hospitals here in Brighton, and sadly even the nursing staff were so demoralised that they appeared to have forgotten why they entered their profession in the first place. I could give you the details, but the story is very long and frankly so depressing that I don't really even like to think about it much. The only people in the NHS who served him well were the paramedics in the ambulances.
by ThoughtBadger @ 19/10/2006 5:10 am • Permalink •
6
I hope nobody read this as a criticism of the nursing staff: actually, they were wonderful. Being sent down without a blanket was, as I said a "very unusual lapse of consideration", which happened because they were very busy with emergency cases at the time. Had I been feeling a bit more myself, I would have asked for a blanket, and I'm sure they would have provided one with no problem. All the staff (young and old) chatted with us, joked, reassured, comforted and made sure that we had everything we needed, even though they were doing about ten things at once and barely had time to draw breath during their shifts.
As ThoughtBadger said, it's not that way at every hospital. Morale can break down, and I can understand why that happens. However, I find it hard to believe that most young nurses see patients as a 'necessary evil'. Frankly, they'd be mad to: there are much easier ways to earn the same money.
by bsag @ 19/10/2006 9:11 am • Permalink •
7
This is definitely one for you Ms Bsag
by Jonathan Briggs @ 19/10/2006 10:11 am • Permalink •
8
You know, I have no idea why this is, but feeling a hand on a shoulder -- a SHOULDER -- by a health professional is one of the most reassuring forms of human touch I can think of. It says many things: I'm calm, you can be calm, it's under control, I care about you, I want you to be comfortable, I know you're in distress, and I want to make it better.
Given this, I'm not sure why more of them don't do it. It costs nothing and takes almost no time. Maybe they've all been frightened off by the spectre of sexual harrassment. But the once or twice it's happened to me, I can remember feeling as though my blood pressure suddenly dropped. It's amazing.
by Pica @ 19/10/2006 11:10 am • Permalink •
9
Hand on shoulder (metaphorical or otherwise) is much underrated. Actually 'kindness' - sounds almost an old-fashioned word - much underrated.
Hope you are feeling much better.
by Rosemary @ 20/10/2006 10:10 am • Permalink •
10
I was merely guarding against the generalism that leads to the kind of casual dismissal of 'young people today' in all its forms. If you're going to say something about nurses on an internet forum, let it be nothing you wouldn't say in front of them while they are shaving you for an appendectomy, is my feeling on the subject.
And as for the hand-on-shoulder thing - that shiver of being cared for - it's an adult response to a sense memory from childhood, just like the wonderful feeling of someone pulling up close to your back and putting an arm around your waist. Both are the memories of comfort from a crouched parent - sensations associated with trust and authoritative reassurance, and sadly infrequent.
by Michael Houghton @ 20/10/2006 2:11 pm • Permalink •
11
Hope you are feeling better soon.
(random internet browser)
by Adrian Smith @ 21/10/2006 7:10 pm • Permalink •
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