Cloistered
Generally speaking, I’m a Reality TV hater. If I happen to pass through a channel showing Big Brother, Strictly Come Dancing, Celebrity Tank Driving, Life Laundry, How To Be Thin/Pretty/Young or any of their ilk, I hit the ‘next channel’ button with a little cry of distress. I’d rather watch paint dry.
But somehow I’ve got sucked into watching The Convent, and I’m finding it fascinating. I nearly got put off by the trailers in which the four women who were going to spend 40 days in the Convent of the Poor Clares in Arundel were portrayed as petulant, rebellious drama queens. I’m not sure that my opinion of them has changed greatly over the course of the series (though several of them seem to have quite serious psychological problems), but it’s well worth watching for nuns alone.
As regular readers know, I’m not religious at all, so I suppose from my own perspective, nuns (and for that matter monks) are spending their lives devoting themselves to something that I don’t see any point in, so I was curious what kind of people they would be. It’s difficult to get a full picture from a TV programme, of course, but they seem uniformly intelligent, thoughtful, patient, articulate, funny and—-above all—-lovely people. If I was forced (and it would have to be at gunpoint) to spend the rest of my life cloistered, spending it surrounded by women like that would be the only thing that would make it bearable.
I don’t know if it’s because Convent life attracts a certain kind of person, or if the life itself changes you profoundly (probably both), but the nuns all seem to be excellent psychologists and intense listeners. The latter quality particularly struck me as being something that’s very rare to find in people today. When you overhear conversations, the participants often seem to be talking at one another rather than talking and actually listening to what the other has to say. The quiet intensity of the nuns’ concentration as they listened to others’ experiences was quite startling.
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My father who had been a v. big cheese in his profession as an accountant, towards the end of his life helped the nuns from the Convent of the Sacred Passion with their accounts. After his death they wrote a letter to my mother which said âI know so little about him, as he was so humble and did not talk about himself, but I feel I know him in a very deep way and feel his loss like the loss of a father.â It was not only a lovely thing to say, but a very accurate insight into him as he was a gentle, caring, and very wise man, with the kind of strength that never needed to show itself. I treasure that letter.
by ThoughtBadger @ 29/06/2006 8:07 pm • Permalink •
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I confess I went out with a novice once.
(Don't tell the wife, though, eh?)
by Mr.D. @ 30/06/2006 6:06 am • Permalink •
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ThoughtBadger: That's lovely. The Poor Clares seemed to always know just the right thing to say too.
Mr. D.: I was about to comment, "A novice, what?"
by bsag @ 30/06/2006 5:07 pm • Permalink •
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I found the series slightly disappointing - mostly due to the renegade natures of the visitors. However, I'm with you 100% on the nuns. I watched this series because I saw 'The Monastery'. The monks and nuns of both series were absolutely amazing people - almost turned me from atheism to catholicism on the spot. It didn't in the end, but if I could be just 10% like them, I'd be very happy.
It's worth catching 'The Monastery' if you can.
Thanks for writing this blog entry - I'm trying to find opinions all over the 'net about the series and found this through google.
by Stu @ 06/07/2006 1:08 pm • Permalink •
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I drifted onto your site from...I dunno, 43 folders-ishward. I was just going to wave, but, hm. The Convent.
IRL, I don't watch much tv, but whenever I'm in the UK I get sucked into some dang reality thing while trying to see the weather (or so I tell myself.) So I caught the last of The Convent and wondered why the nuns didn't just smack the heck out of the Poor Wee Goils. To the best of my understanding (after having had my early education in a convent), nuns are oriented toward looking outward. The whole nun-existence is contrary to self-absorbed navel-gazing.
Just wanted one of the stern elderly ones to say "Your mummy was mean to you? Grow up! Go scrub something until you remember you're a lucky, lucky, lucky girl, you twinkie!"
Consider yourself waved at by a biochemist/geek from North Carolina. Happy weekend!
by Victoria @ 15/07/2006 1:07 am • Permalink •
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It never ceases to amaze me how people can make the most definative estimations on people and events based on so little information. This seems to be the case with the The Convent. I was one of the ladies who entered The Convent and I have been angered, distressed, dissapointed and dumbfounded at some of the narrow minded opinions. There were over 600 hours !!!! of footage filmed for the programme and the general public only got to see 4 hours of our time there. We have been accused of being self absorbed. That was the one of the points of being in there, to see if the nuns way of life had anything to offer with our daily struggles and demons. Which we all !! have by the way and should not be accused publicly of having psychological problems because we choose to deal with them. I have got on with my life scince the age of five, obviously, and brought up two children on my own as a single mum for 10 years, held down jobs, never taken a penny from the state, I do a lot of charity work for children, I am bringing up a five year old and have a great marriage, so I have "GROWN UP " and got on with life. In the difficult and tormenting process to decide wether to deal with my personal issues in public, one of the things I had hoped for was that, there were other people with self esteem , self worth issues like mine. They had perhaps arrived at these issues via a different route but would identify with me and perhaps gain insight and answers by watching the programme. My time in The Convent was a priveledge and unique experience, It has helped me come to terms with a difficult childhood which was not JUST about the abandonment by my mother, there were other very traumatic events connected to it. What the opportunity allowed me to do was re-create a very painful set of circumstances ,but put me in a different role. With the help and guidance and UNDERSTANDING and NON JUDGEMENTAL views of an amazing set of people. Self absorbed and self obsessed, YES !! it was only when allowed myself to face my issues head on and wholeheartedly, with no distractions, I was able to deal with them.
I have since been back to The Convent to visit the Sisters and my Dear Clare Agnes, it was wonderful to spend time with them again. Even better, they could see me as a wife and mother and see all the good work they had done. It was wonderful for them to see me as a person well on the way to healing and not the broken tearful and fearful wreck I once was.
So in essence, if you truly have adoration and indeed respect for the Sisters and their values, then perhaps it would be better to be more open minded and less judgemental of people based on so little information. It is this policy of their order that we could all do with adopting and maybe there would be more understanding of people and the world in general.
With respect Debi Ireland (The crying one)
by Debi Ireland @ 14/08/2006 7:09 am • Permalink •
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Debi: I can't speak for other commenters, but I apologise if my opinions have been narrow minded. The problem---as you acknowledge yourself---is that we got to see only a tiny portion of your stay, and what we did see was selected by the editors, who obviously have their own agenda. Even if they try to be objective, editors of TV reality shows are going to select footage that they think the audience will find 'entertaining' over footage that is illuminating but 'dull', so there may be a lack of balance. That is what I was trying to get at when I said "were portrayed as petulant, rebellious drama queens", though my meaning may not have come across properly.
So yes, people (including me, I'm ashamed to say) do jump to conclusions about people they see on TV, but because we don't know you personally, don't have all the background information on your life, motivations etc., that is all the information that we have to go on. Actually, your comment has brought home to me that this is yet another reason that I usually really dislike 'reality TV': it turns me (and many others who watch it) into judgemental little tykes, and makes it easy to see people as characters rather than fully rounded humans, because our view of the people who take part is highly filtered. I'm curious to know (if you don't mind saying) whether you felt you and the other participants were accurately represented by the show? Did you have a say in what was broadcast?
You're right that seeing you deal with your issues might help others in the same position, but I wonder if you can ever get a true representation with someone else in editorial control, particularly when it involves something as personal and private as spiritual journey (not a criticism, just a comment).
Anyway, I'm very happy to hear that your experience in the convent helped you, and I'm sorry if my comments have upset you. One downside of having a public blog like this is that I occasionally (very occasionally, I hope!) say things that hurt or offend others, and that I later regret.
by bsag @ 14/08/2006 3:09 pm • Permalink •
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